With about 9 months to go, I'm starting to get nervous that we won't have anything to feed our guests or a photographer to take photos of our wonderful day. Money is just too tight for me to feel free to start looking seriously.
I'm nervous about finding a dress. My budget is tiny and my body is not. I've found some acceptable choices so if push came to shove I could get one of those. Or I could stumble over a bag of money and buy that beautiful one I saw at Victoria's Bridal.
This is a once in a lifetime event and I feel like I can't give it the proper attention cause I'm so broke. I'm sure I'll feel better once Mr A finds a job. Being unemployed makes it hard to really plan a wedding. But we're not just planning a wedding. It's the day our marriage will start, officially. I want it to be a fun, memorable day. I want our friends to have fun. I want to look back, see our pictures and smile. I do not want to think I did not get everything that will make me happy. Although being with Mr A makes me very happy.
I keep saying I shouldn't worry until the new year. If we're 4 or 5 months away without a dress, a suit, a caterer, and a photographer, then I can panic. Right now, it's not worth it. I should focus on the things that I can do right now. It's just so hard!