Ever been in a job interview and they ask you what your weakness is? I usually say perfection. I won't stop til the job is done perfectly. It's a half truth though. I use perfection to excuse my laziness, insecurity and procrastination. If I cannot do it perfectly it ain't worth my time to do it all.
If see a recipe that I'd like to try, I save it with the expectation I'll try it when circumstances are perfect. Only when I have all the ingredients, plenty of time, and the moon is in the correct house, can I attempt to make that perfect meal. But how often do I hit something out the park on my first attempt? Rarely, but I expect to every time.
When I was a kid, my dad would ask me to try something-soccer, softball, camping. But nope, if I knew I'd fail then forget it. I don't even want to attempt something if failure is even a possibility. I've left numerous project half done because I got tired failing to understand how to needlepoint, bead lampshades, write a good end to a story. While my dad was encouraging me to try something new and maybe fail in the process, my mom was on the other said saying "You aren't good enough, don't bother". I believe the negative and question the positive! Riding myself of her negative voice is a lifelong journey!
When I think of all the things I didn't try cause I was too busy feeling not good enough or afraid of failing, it makes me mad. I missed real honest experiences that might have been fun even if I crashed and burned. Ever had someone over and apologized for the lack of perfection in your home? I'm sorry my house isn't perfectly organized. I'm sorry I didn't dust the top of the cabinets before you arrived. I'm sorry I didn't make a gourmet meal. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I say sorry way more often than I should. why should I apologize for who I am? I wish I could shake off the expectation (all mine, btw) of perfection.
Now the perfect way to end this post would be to resolve to stop being perfection. To stop living in that fear of not being perfect, but that would be too perfect. Instead I'm going to ask you to encourage yourselves (if you share my problem) and others to lay down the perfect expectation for an afternoon, a day and just be real with each other. Once I get comfortable with being real (letting my warts hang out) maybe I feel ok with failing. Because maybe after a few hundreds failures, I'll feel right with myself.
Since this post was devoid of pictures, I'll share this awesome video my gorgeous husband sent me. I inspire to be like these ladies and make peace with it!