Feeling like a Failure

As I mentioned before, Tai suggested that we buy our invitations rather than have me make them. I resisted. I cried. I had already invested a good amount of time into designing our invites. But I was so stressed out about the details, I was becoming very bitchy. I would have mock-ups every night for Tai to look out. Different colored ribbons. Different fonts. I couldn't make a decision. I would tweak those invitations everyday. And I wasn't having any fun with them at all.
Tai stepped in and assured me that we could still have a great wedding despite not making the invitations. I really resisted him on that. We argued it about most of last week. He really wanted less stressed out Linda back. He didn't want to look at invitations anymore. Then I remembered something I told Janet when we started this process: I don't care about the invitations. No one really looks at them anyway.
In remembering how I felt about the invitations before I became stressed out bride helped me make my decision. Despite what I think, no one (no one) is going to open the invitation and caress it lovingly. No one is going to ooh and aah over it even if we'd sprung for letterpress. So I bought our invitations, response cards, and insert cards from WeddingPaperDivas. I went to sleep, pleased with knowledge that the invitations were crossed off our to do list.
I woke up feeling slightly guilty. Perhaps I took the easy way out. But I brushed it aside and tried to continue with my day. Then I saw Miss Peony's invitations. When I read that she hand ironed on all the Swarovski crystals on the invitations, I felt so bad. She obviously cares about her invitations. She put the time and energy that her guests will notice. Her wedding will be better than mine. (Note: this is a pity party. I don't really believe that, k.)
Feeling a little more guilty I tried to move on. I looked to the knot to assuage my guilt. I was reading a bio where the bride stressed making everything yourself. She believed that your guests would notice those little touches that you took the time to make. I felt even worse.
Then DIY bride had a poll. In her informal poll, 81% felt some pressure to DIY parts of their wedding. I count myself as part of that number.
When you don't have a ton of money to spend on your guests you want to find things that show your guests that you care. You want your guests to know you spent sometime thinking about them. But honestly I don't think that my guests want to know I stressed out myself to make something that they will ultimately throw away. (Please recycle the invitations, k.)
What I'm taking away from this whole experience is that we (Tai and I) need to take stock of what we feel is important. People notice food and drink. If there is not enough food or not enough to drink, people will notice. If I don't hand iron on the crystals onto the invites no one will notice. I hope you all work to make the day memorable for you and your guests-within your own limits.
PS I really love Miss Peony's invites and I'm totally jealous that I couldn't make the same thing. Anyone who takes that kind of time to do that totally rocks. I can't wait to see pictures from Miss Peony's wedding cause it will be beautiful.