A lot of people ask me what we're doing after the wedding. At first I thought they meant that night. Oh, we're camping there at the site. Hanging out with our friends, I'd say. But that didn't satisfy them. No, after the wedding. So, I'd say, no, we're not going on a honeymoon. Too poor right now plus I am out of vacation time. But that was not the answer they were looking for. I have decided that what you are you doing after the wedding is code for when are you having the babies?
Tai and I have discussed having children at great length. I'm not interested in bearing my own children and adoption always seemed like a good idea. But Tai was never interested in adoption and thought that if he ever had kids, he'd like them to be biologically his. Since we couldn't agree and having kids wasn't high on either of our priority lists, we decided no kids.
Then one day Tai said that he saw a little girl on the bus and she was so cute that he felt the urge to have kids. So we discussed it again. I'm not ready right now to have kids. I'm kind of worried since I haven't had that must have babies urge I might never have it.
But after we discussed the babies again, I went to party where a 3 month old was present. She was cute and when her mommy heard I was getting married she plopped the baby on my lap. Time for you to get used to kids, she told me. Honestly I'm not a baby fan. I love my friend's kids. I'll hold them, but I never get excited to see them. But this one was cute and not threatening at all (I'm usually nervous that I'll drop them or they start crying). I held her the majority of the party. Somehow the I don't think I want to do this changed into maybe I could do this.
After the party I told Tai, I'd be willing to discuss the babies again after the wedding. Honestly I think we have to decide what are going to do then. I can go back to school and try to change fields. Tai wants to find a job that's less stressful and pays more. I think we have a lot to decide before we can solidly say bring on the babies. Plus we are getting older and the babies might not be possible (who knows). But I'm keeping the conversation open.