Monday, June 16, 2008

After The Wedding

A lot of people ask me what we're doing after the wedding. At first I thought they meant that night. Oh, we're camping there at the site. Hanging out with our friends, I'd say. But that didn't satisfy them. No, after the wedding. So, I'd say, no, we're not going on a honeymoon. Too poor right now plus I am out of vacation time. But that was not the answer they were looking for. I have decided that what you are you doing after the wedding is code for when are you having the babies?
Tai and I have discussed having children at great length. I'm not interested in bearing my own children and adoption always seemed like a good idea. But Tai was never interested in adoption and thought that if he ever had kids, he'd like them to be biologically his. Since we couldn't agree and having kids wasn't high on either of our priority lists, we decided no kids.
Then one day Tai said that he saw a little girl on the bus and she was so cute that he felt the urge to have kids. So we discussed it again. I'm not ready right now to have kids. I'm kind of worried since I haven't had that must have babies urge I might never have it.
But after we discussed the babies again, I went to party where a 3 month old was present. She was cute and when her mommy heard I was getting married she plopped the baby on my lap. Time for you to get used to kids, she told me. Honestly I'm not a baby fan. I love my friend's kids. I'll hold them, but I never get excited to see them. But this one was cute and not threatening at all (I'm usually nervous that I'll drop them or they start crying). I held her the majority of the party. Somehow the I don't think I want to do this changed into maybe I could do this.
After the party I told Tai, I'd be willing to discuss the babies again after the wedding. Honestly I think we have to decide what are going to do then. I can go back to school and try to change fields. Tai wants to find a job that's less stressful and pays more. I think we have a lot to decide before we can solidly say bring on the babies. Plus we are getting older and the babies might not be possible (who knows). But I'm keeping the conversation open.


  1. I've never been really gaga over babies (is it bad that I think puppies are cuter?) but I love playing with kids and toddlers. Especially the endless fascinating and entertaining things they do and say as the figure out their world.

    My best friend has a toddler who is really smart and generally good but I think I'll just hang out and play with him for a few years. Luckily my parents already have another 3 grandchildren and hopefully his parents will focus on his sister for a few years.

  2. Having children is a huge decision. Not sure this list will give you any insight but it's worth a read:

  3. I've come to the conclusion (after my almost 17 months of experience) that toddlers are way more fun than babies. The walking and sorta-talking is awesome because they can move around independently and tell you what they want (for the most part). So that rocks.

    That said, don't stress too much about the "must have babies" gene. It may or may not hit you, and it might just hit you later than you expect. My sister is 37 and has only recently realized that she really wants kids. (Sucks for her right now b/c she's single, but she still has time.)

  4. I have definitely been getting that question too! Although usually it just comes out as- "when are you having babies?" Or "it won't be long before babies!" And even "This time next year...." Can I just get married first please??!! Lol! I've even walked in on people having conversations ABOUT me having babies!! More than I've walked in on conversations about my wedding!

    I do want to have kids....maybe even a bunch! But I want to enjoy the wedding and being married for awhile!! Not worry about little ones not even around yet!


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